As many of you already know, I enjoy baking.
I also enjoy 80s horror movies, 90s horror movies, other horror movies that didn’t come out in those decades, and anything by George A. Romero.
So when Dawn and Stacey asked if I wanted to join their epic Halloween baking contest of deliciousness, creepiness, and prizes for you guys, there was nothing to say but Absolutely!
And now, I present to you—the culmination of my efforts!
The ladies have asked me to share a little bit about how I approached this endeavor. So, first you will need:
Yeah, I’m just messing with you.*
What I used:
(Really. I promise.)
Even though they look viscous and totally gory, these babies are (fairly) harmless.
I started with some super-jumbo red velvet cupcakes. I had to trim heavily to make the kidney, but the heart is just one lone giant cupcake, laid gently on its side.
The cream cheese frosting is sweeter than the traditional version because I needed it to have some body in order to model the arteries, so I wound up with a kind of cream cheese/fondant hybrid. It’s almost as pliable as fondant, but it tastes much, much better.**
To compensate for the sweetness of the frosting, I made the sauce by throwing some frozen sour cherries in a saucepan with a splash of water and barely any sugar and then cooking them down until I had a nice syrup. I poured the syrup through a wire strainer to filter out the big chunks, but as you can see, it still has a little bit of texture to it. It’s purpler than I’d been hoping for, but very delicious. If I made it again, I think I’d add a cup of raspberries and see if that helped the color.
But this is all very fussy and Food-Network and not the fun part.
So, let’s look at that heart again!
It’s important to note that this—what you see here—this happened because my husband was away on a business trip and if further proof was ever needed that I should not be left to my own devices . . . the Red Velvet Cardiac Event is probably it.
To be fair, it might have happened even if he’d been home. While he can be quite a stabilizing influence on me, he is rarely a deterrent to my various strange behaviors. Also, he totally knew what he was getting into when he married me.
Just to be safe though, I gave him fair warning. Because I try very hard to be a considerate person.
My email, reproduced in its entirety:
Just a heads up . . .
If you were to come home tomorrow and then you were to open the refrigerator and you were to find a human heart, it would be because I’m trying to win a creepy Halloween baking contest, and not because I am a secret serial killer.
D’s response—again, in its entirety:
RE: Just a heads up . . .
That’s exactly what a secret serial killer would say.
See? He loves me!
Now, the part that actually benefits you—the part about the prizes!
The Creepy Cake N Bake-a-Thon is ON! Vote for your favorite entry by commenting below. You can comment on EVERY Cake N Bake post, one entry per post, for a chance to win a $20 gift certificate from Barnes and Noble or an official Creepy Cake N Bake doll!
**Please include your email in order to be entered to win.**
Trophies will be awarded on Halloween for the top creeptastic creations. Winners will be chosen by our special Celebrity Judge, Adam Rex, author of such deliciously creepy creations such as FAT VAMPIRE, FRANKENSTEIN TAKES THE CAKE, FRANKENSTEIN MAKES A SANDWICH, and PSSST!
Check the list of contestants and their post dates so you don’t miss any of the fun:
Mon Oct. 3 – Saundra Mitchell
Wed Oct 5 – Stacey Jay
Friday Oct 7 – Erin Dionne
Saturday Oct 8 – Sydney Salter
Mon Oct 10 – Brenna Yovanoff
Wed Oct 12 – Tara Hudson
Friday Oct 14 – Karen Healey
Saturday Oct 15 – Robin Bridges
Mon Oct 17 – Michelle Zink
Wed Oct 19 – Julia Karr
Friday Oct 21 – Victoria Schwab
Saturday Oct 22 – C.Lee McKenzie
Sunday Oct 23 – E. Kristin Anderson
Mon Oct 24 – Natalie Zaman
Wed Oct 26 – Stephanie Burgis
Friday Oct 28 – Dawn Metcalf
*Or am I?
**So, delicious, and not at all like bafflingly sweet cardboard shaped like flowers.