m_stiefvater tagged me for this meme. I’ve never been tagged to do a meme before, and as Maggie so rightly pointed out, I do not generate content for this blog on even a semi-frequent basis, so the meme is useful in both respects.

What were you doing ten years ago?

• Putting the finishing touches on a massive and poorly-organized final project for AP English (topic: premature burial and Edgar Allan Poe).
• Conditioning like a lunatic along with the rest of the soccer team in preparation for play-offs, i.e., running more laps than God. Or at least, the track team.
• Going bowling far more frequently than could ever be considered cool, even under a very broad umbrella.
• Doing elaborate voodoo magic every time I wanted to start my car, which included, but was not limited to: taking off the air filter, spraying the carburetor with solvent and working the butterfly valve manually with the eraser-end of a pencil, and sitting down on the pavement to kick the starter casing with the heel of my shoe whenever the solenoid would stick.
• Quietly mooning around after a boy I never talked to and who was profoundly inappropriate for me. Also, lamenting said-boy’s unfortunate decision to shave his head, because it made him look like an androgynous extraterrestrial with huge ears, and also like a neo-nazi (to this day, I don’t believe that was the intent, but he was just so . . . white).

What are five things on your to-do list for today (not in any particular order):

• Take the car to get the emissions tested.
• Repot the winter orchid.
• Work on making my current novel plot marginally coherent and also recognizable as, in fact, a plot.
• Call the Radisson Tulsa and reserve a room, so that when I show up in July for the Conestoga conference, I can sleep in a bed.
• Go to the bank.

What are some snacks you enjoy?

• Avocado
• Avocado combined with other things
• Beef jerky
• Scones
• Popsicles
• Lemon-flavored popsicles
• Rice crackers
• Frosted donuts
• Pop Tarts

For economy’s sake, this list is abbreviated.

What would you do if you were a billionaire?

• I would have an extravagant greenhouse with a fishpond in it. And an atrium. And orchids and chameleons, but no birds, because birds kind of scare me.
• Also, I would be one of those bleeding-heart socially philanthropic people, but I would hire someone scrupulous and dependable to take care of the actual logistics, because I’m very bad at spearheading things.
• I would facilitate my husband’s dream of quitting his job in order to spend all day Getting Huge at the gym and devoting himself to his golf game.

What are three of your bad habits?

• I become inexplicably bored with wearing socks, and then leave them lying around the house.
• I also leave half-full cups of coffee around.
• And sandwich crusts.

Name five places you have lived

• California, but I was so young that I only remember lizards on the porch, and a mall Santa Claus.
• Arkansas, which I largely enjoyed, despite the fact that there were ticks. I had a tree frog, and a pet goat, and tadpoles in a jar of water, and lots of dogs. Arkansas is heavily populated with dogs.
• Fort Collins, Colorado, where I lived for so long that I can’t even describe it, having lost all objectivity.
• Durango, Colorado. Whatever you have heard about Durango (assuming that you have heard about Durango) is true. People snowboard a lot and routinely seem to acquire bachelor’s degrees without attending class. Also, drinking.
• Denver, Colorado, which is a city, but I’m good at pretending it’s not, because I live in a college neighborhood with trees and bicycles, so it sort of just seems like a town.

What are five jobs you have had?

• Dish Washer and Prep Cook at the smallest, filthiest bar in the world.
• Fitting Room Girl for the Ross chain of discount department stores.
• Photo Shop Girl—over five years spent delighting in the intricacies of machines, editing software, and harsh chemicals. Customers, not so much.
• Editorial Assistant at the university PR department (otherwise known as lying for fun and profit).
• Editorial Assistant at a thoroughly respectable literary magazine (slush, slush, slush—everything you have heard about the slush pile is true, but unless you’ve had the opportunity to examine one yourself, chances are, you are still not imagining it with the chilling glory it deserves).